The saying that life is filled with ups and downs could not have been more accurate.


This is it.


Again, i fail to blog consistently. No longer a surprise i assume.


Procrastinator.


I will gladly do it all over again for you.


That sick, twisting feeling you experience in your gut whenever that particular someone crosses your mind?





I was kinda uncertain about my decision to go to Nuraini's open house instead of the others cuz the only person i will be hanging out with is just Tharane and Nuraini. And Nuraini could be busy entertaining guests.

I was her first friend to arrive besides her relatives and her brother's friends. All 4 of them are back. You can just imagine how crowded the house is. Everytime someone leaves someone else arrives.

So i sat and chatted with Nuraini and not long after her college mates arrived. Nuraini introduced us and i tried my best to remember their names and match it to their faces. They all seem like a lovely and lively bunch of peeps on first impression. That's good because first impression in particularly for me does wonders.

Helped ourselves to the delicious spread prepared by her mom. Nuraini is famous for her mom's lasagna and cookies. They are like fucking heaven in your mouth. Sat in the living room eating cramped up next to each other (:

Gotten to know them more as the day proceeds and i think all i can say is they are indeed, an INTERESTING bunch. In a good way obviously.

After of what seemed to be like decades Tharane arrived with Ashley. Ashley is another sweetheart i must say. Everyone got along really well and had a great time. Oh and Tharane's mom joined us as well. Haha i like her mom.

Basically spent the entire day talking and gossiping and talking. Nurul dropped by later on. She looked so much more mature now. Good for her.

Hung around until 6+ and we decided to leave. Its sucks having to say goodbye to Nuraini especially cuz i've not seen her in ages and those few hours spent together was not enough.

Making plans now for our reunion with all the ex-classmates hopefully at the end of December. Can't wait to see EVERYONE and have a good catch up session.

---

This is stupid.

Me and you?

This would only lead to more complications.

Only thing i can do now is to sit back, let you do your thing and i'll do mine. I'll hold my breath and pray to God for the patience that i will very much need to go through this remaining month.

Keep calm, and just pray hard.

That with each day getting closer and closer to the end of my program, it will take me one step closer into forgetting you.

x


It feels good to actually be blogging again after a short absence. College + trials + reports drove me up the wall. I barely got more than an hour's worth of sleep a day. On certain days i have to get up at 5 just to be there early for a paper that starts at 7. Fucking Australian time.

Needless to say i didnt study beforehand and attempted to pull an all nighter to cram shitloads of infomations in. End result? I screwed up my maths and chemistry paper but i redeemed myself with my psychology, biology and esl paper. Sigh*

Mr. Brian and Ms. Tan will probably be choking themselves with one hand while marking my paper.

Anyway, screw it its over and too late for me to regret about now. As from this very moment onwards, i have about a month's time plus minus before my final paper and i'm done with SAM for real! (:

I'm trying to squeeze in a very short post before heading over to Nuraini's open house. Out of pure coincidence all the open houses i was invited to happened to be on the same day and same time. -_- Sorry Sarah ):

Been feeling all nostalgic lately. Dunno where that came from. I find myself missing my ex-school mates very much ): It's true when they say you will miss high school life. Cuz i sure as hell do. College is an entire ball game. The strongest will survive but guaranteed no victory. The weak will no doubt be eliminated with just the blink of an eye.

---

I admit that i was kinda nervous when i know i'll be seeing you in college the next day. And it was just like me to be late for my Psychology paper, AGAIN. -__-

Idk how to exactly describe how i feel right now when i see you, maybe i've reached a point where hurt is all i can feel from you.

Maybe that's a good thing. Make things less complicated.

x


It's 2.23 am now. In about 4 hours i will have to get ready for college. Whatever la, i think i'll skip. Doesn't make any sense that many others get 2 weeks while my program gives us 1 week and 1 day??

I'll just drop by to hand in my Psychology report that will inevitably come back and haunt me later cuz i wrote such a shitty report which will lead to a heart attack when my young lecturer reads it which will mean he will die at a young age and it will be my fault and before he dies he will prolly gimme some super low marks for giving him that heart attck which will kill my internal marks and pull my marks even lower. Okay i'm done now.

Sigh***

Felt like i just need to get that off my chest.There's a mini timer at the back of my mind constantly ticking and counting down the time till my trial exam which is next week. I feel like slapping myself for slacking these past 8 months and failing tests after tests especially for Chemistry and Maths. I made Mr Chong older by like 10 years when he taught me and i think he's glad to not teach me anymore now. So now i'm torturing Mr. Bryan with my awesome marks everyday. Sorry T_T I just have no interest in Maths at all.

I won't be like some selfless bimbo that will dream big and vow to get a TER of 95 etc etc. That is just impossible la considering how i screwed everything up. All i'm asking for is atleast a TER of 80 and lemme get accepted into the uni of my choice for law next year then i'll be over the moon already. Pretty please T________T

It's at times like this that i am so angry at myself for taking SAM. If i had taken A levels or ADTP i will be a much happier person now wtf. And here i am screwing up my 25 fucking % worth of internal marks for Psychology with my crappy report writing skills.

Can someone take a gun and shoot me already?

Yes yes, i know now i complain and write 10 pages of how much i regret my procratination skills also no use.

***

On a ligther note, i cannot wait for October ahhhh ! Been anticipating this for months. Going to Club Med ! It'll be perfect after all the stress from the exams and shit. I cannot wait to slap on sunscreen and lay on the beach all day with perfect music blasting in my ears. Then head on down to the spa for some relaxing massage and pampering. Oh and the best part is, there's a free flow of drinks 24/7. Okay la not free exactly cuz everything is paid for beforehand but whatever, free flow of drinks ! ;DDD

And at the end of November, i'll be going to Korea ! Yay ! Its during winter time and it get colder everyday. I think that's the only downside of it. More shopping and yummeh food tasting to be done there (: And and i can't wait to ski teehee ;)

Then idrk what happening exactly in December but there's my irritating brother's bday, Christmas and new years to look forward to. Oh and once again, MORE shopping for new years clothes and college clothes. HAHA.

Then in Jan, hopefully i will still have some time to chillax before uni begins. And AGAIN more shopping more chinese new year clothes AHAHA.

As for February, my bday to look forward to ;DD CNY with all the red packets and awesome munchies and seeing my lovely cousins and gambling hoho someone stop me please. OH and also i'm going to SHANGHAI LOLOL. I purposely capsed it cuz anyone that knows me well knows that i x suka China ! So this will be my first time there. *gulps* And no my mindset about China and its supermotherfuckinglyawesome ppl remains the same. Only going cuz i love my family -_-

I know what you all must be thinking, i must have lost it, suddenly so emo and now super fucking happy. Blame PMS. Yes, perfect excuse.

Okay i must get back to finishing up my report which is a lost cause anyway. Hopefully SafeAssign won't bail on me.

x.


So, i thought this hols of mine would turn out to be pretty boring and not so good.

Turns out, i was wrong. Of course it started out being kinda crappy and boring, but then things took a turning for the better.

Went out shopping basically everyday of this week, hitting one mall after another each day. ;D

Even better part is there is the new spring/summer collection available ;DD

Forever 21, Zara, Topshop etc etc. I just can't get enough of it. Racks after racks of eye catching pieces that makes you just wanna grab it all. Of course i had better self control than that.

Also shopped for winter clothes and holiday clothes as well. Best part ? Everytime we plan to go somewhere, daddy ALWAYS takes us shopping for new stuffs. Teehee.

So i bought new gloves, scarves, jeans, tops etc etc. Oh and i got a couple of new cardigans. Is it just me or are the new line of cardigans looking more awesome than before ?! Oh and trent coats. I swear i liked 9/10 pieces that i tried on. Sad tho with our Malaysian weather i won't be able to wear it often here so i don't think i wanna spend RM1200 on trent coats and have it sitting in my closet for months. One of that should be enough. For now (: .

Anyway, please ignore my endless yabbering. I'm just feeling pretty happy atm. And that's good considering all the drama that's been happening in my life lately. It's good no GREAT to have a chance to step away from all that and just do what i love most ; shop.

I know this may sound bimbo-ish to certain people, but so what ? Every girl likes to shop and so do i. (:

Okay long story short, i'm just in a really good place right now.

But all good things must come to and end sooner or later huh ? College resumes in a day. I have a 1500 word report due which i'm no where near done or have the slightest clue to go about. And i have my supermotherfucking important trials coming up in less than a week. 5 major subjects to cover. Especially Chemistry and Maths. My progress so far ? 0. So yeah, i'm pretty screwed.

Whatever tho, i'm done worrying all the time. I'm just gonna enjoy my hols to the max and do whatever the hell i want. Hey, after all, a wise man once told me to ' Live in the moment '.

Later,
x


In between the state of half conscious and awake.

Unlike my siblings, i only have about a week of hols. Then a couple of days of classes before my trials. I have a shit load of crap to study for trials. My progress so far, 0. I'm so fucked, i know. Not to mention, i have a 1500 words report on Behavioural Assertiveness due on next Tuesday. So yeah, my life's pretty awesome, no?

I remember last Friday as i nervously glance at my watch every few minutes. Why? Cuz i know that as soon as class ends, i won't be seeing you for a week atleast. And i'm so afraid to look at you on my way home, for fear of what i might see in your reaction i guess. I could not bring myself to find out. Call me a coward, maybe i am.

I did think that as long as we have some time and space in between, things might turn out better as we're more relaxed and we have kept our distance from right and wrong. That's what i thought atleast. So when this break came along, i'm more than glad tbh. I crawl into bed everyday when the sun comes up, pull the covers tightly around myself and force my eyes shut. No matter how hard i try, you're the last person that crosses my mind everynight without fail. The second i open my eyes, there you are again. The thought of you there is like a sharp blade slicing through me every single time, leaving fresh wounds behind.

I miss the smell of you. The warmth of your arms around me. Comforting me and there to give me guidance everytime i needed it. The way your smile lights up your face and how cheerful you are all the time. I miss everything you did for me.

Most of all, i miss you.


A mess.

That is how everything is atm. Complicated. Messy. Strange. Mind boggling.

Yeah, maybe I just can't look you in the eye without feeling a million stabs in my gut. And yeah, I apologise. I'm really sorry. For being such a bitch to you and for pushing you away everytime you tried to get to know me better. I'm sorry for treating you like I dgaf, cuz the truth is, i sure as hell do care, more than you will ever know atleast. Yes, I admit, I'm afraid of even opening up the tiniest bit to you, for fear of falling for you. See where it had lead us now?

It had always been the same ol' game. One going after another and when the other gives in, the entire scene changes. How sick and tired I am of this bullshit. In my defense, it was not easy trying to read all your mix signals. This is my first year in college, trying to adapt to a whole new scene without the need of complication in my second week of classes !

And how will i ever be able to guess what all your actions mean? Our relationship started off with such a complicated base that one wrong move from either one of us and we'll be in deep shit, you and I both. Everything is just WRONG. To make matters worse, this is not a normal schoolgirl crush that i can go around sharing with my friends and classmates now can I ?

Recent weeks, I have been tossing around in bed in the wee hours of the morning, trying to push sleep off as much as i could, so that I would feel so exhausted and pass out immediately without having to think of this. It worked well for the first one week or so, before my sleeping pattern got even more out of control and i drag myself to classes every morning more exhausted than the day before. I find myself climbing into bed at 5am having to get up at 6, still not being able to sleep peacefully. Do you have any fucking idea how exhausted i feel ?

Ever since a kid, I had always loved the feeling of intense rush of adrenaline flowing and pulsating through my bloodstreams, pushing me to do more and more crazy shit without thinking twice. Maybe it is that once again ? The thought that you're exciting and strange with a very mysterious history had got me craving to get to know you better. The fact that we could not be together during this duration of time as it is FORBIDDEN and wrong had made it all the more exciting and challenging for me.

My trials is in less than 2 weeks time. I have to work extra hard for this to make up for me slacking the entire year. How can i do this if I can't even clear my mind for fuck sake ?!

Tbh, I'm sick and tired of this. Really, really tired in fact. I can't play this game no more. If i were given a choice between graduating with the TER i needed versus you, i think my choice right here is pretty clear. The whole point of this post is just to express everything that i had kept building inside of me for 8 months now. I just need to let it out.

So, with the closure of this post coming nearer, so will be the hope and emotions that i had kept bundled up be let go of. Things are prolly better this way. After all, its just 2 more months before we bid farewell and most likely never see each other again. What's the point of holding onto this for 2 more months and wait for an outcome which I'm not sure of ?

Isn't it funny, the way life fucks you over ? Sending people into your life you'd thought you would never ever look at twice, and somehow the opposite always happens ? Jsyk, i wrote this post yesterday and i delayed finishing it, cuz i know the second i hit send, everything changes.

Everything must come to an end. When i walked pass you today, somehow i know i already have my mind made up. That this is it. The countdown begins.


So. I realised that i tend to use the word 'so' a little too much. Please bear with me.

I know. It's pretty suprising that after all these months of abandoning my blog, i'm back. There had been one too many times when i had a sudden itch to cross my room to my study table and log into blogspot. But evidently, i did not. And to think of the reason behind me blogging AGAIN. Ha. I just can't say it. Atleast not outloud here. Too many lurkers i'm sad to say.

Anyways, what do one blog about as their 'come back' post? Cuz it sure as hell will take me weeks to give a proper update on what's happening in my life right now.

So, just the essentials then, aye ? (:

I'm doing my Pre-U in Taylor's College atm taking the South Australian Matriculation program. Is it fun? Is college life great and lives up to all my expectations? Yes and no.

I remember a couple months back when a senior of mine mentioned this, i quote ' In college, you will meet ALL kinds of people. You'll be amazed with who you actually get to know. ' That left me pondering. I mean, seriously?

Boy, was he right. I did meet ALL sorts or people. Yes, i am glad to say that i have the priveledge to meet some really awesome beings. And when there's the good, there's always the bad side to it. Need i say more ?

Pretty ironic no that its September now and my course officially ends in November, and only now am i blogging about it? Haha.

For those of you that still checks up on my blog from time to time and kept on pestering me to update, this one is for you guys ;) And no, sorry but this is MY blog so i shall blog whatever the fuck i want. If whatever i say does not seem to amuse you the way it does me, then may i politely ask you to gtfo ;D

Sooo much more to say, so little time? Hee. I shall stop here. I promise the next update will come much sooner than expected. Since i've gotten my blogging mojo back, i'm bursting with a billion and one things to say. So yeah, prepare for plentyyy of words filled posts and random pictures popping up from time to time.

x.


p.s : for all the right reasons ?


Hehe.

Okay okay i know i owe everyone an explanation. I remember saying that i'll try to update asap as there is just SO much going on lately. When i say alot, i really mean it.

There's tons of pictures to be uploaded and i honestly don't know when i can get around to do it. I barely even have enough sleep.

Anyways, i just had my last monthly test ! This monthly test is so crappy and same goes for my results. Add maths :x

Everyone around me had been getting sick lately. Including me. But Nuraini's was the worse. Her fever left her brainless xDD

I've been laughing so much lately. In class. Out of class. At home. In my bedroom. Even when i'm emo-ing. While sitting for a test. Haih.

Its prolly my way to de-stress. :]

----------------------

Damm, i don't know what's gotten into me lately, but i just can't stop thinking of you.

You're on my mind 24/7. And its killing me.

p.s : duty calls !will bw back to update more later :]


Hellooooo :]

So sorry for not blogging for over 2 weeks.

Last two weeks had been a CRAZY one indeed. Mid-terms, activites etc. etc.

Plus my internet was down for a bit there.

There's a hugeeee lot of stuff that had happened and needs to be posted up.

I'll get right to that asap i promise.

p.s : pretty sad to stalk my cbox, no?

♥Joe-Anna

Got a freaking heart attack when my phone rang right next to my ear at 9 am in the morning.

Caller i.d says its Chris.

-_-

He gets up wayy to early.

Anyway, he comfirmed our plan to meet at Mcdonalds to have a study group.

I arrived late. So naturally Chris is already there.

Studied a little then Rebecca came.

Talked, ate, studied, more talk, ate more, study abit more.

Take 1 "Eh wait i'm not ready yet!"

Take 2 "Nooo! Rebecca made me laugh!"

Went to 1 U today with my family.

Had lunch at Wong Kok Char Chan Teng (i don't think i spelt it correctly).




I went to school at 7+ and headed straight to the staff room to meet Miss Lee. Met up with Mich there and the both of us took the first aid box before heading up to the hall.

Me, Mich and Wern Cher are stationed at the hall for St. John duty.

Mr.Subra then came and ask me to help him be the emcee for the badminton tournament. The tournament took forever.

I was stuck in the hall the entire day. Th worst part is that they did not want to turn on the air-conditioner because of some stupid reason. -_-

After that the primary had a Fancy Dress competition so i went and helped Ms. Ivy and Ms. Tee to arrange all the medals.

Once that is done, i went back to be the emcee for the prize giving ceremony. That took forever as well and my leg felt like lead already atm.

The amount of people that turned up was quite alright. There's students from S.K. Lick Hung, SMK Sri Damansara,S.M.K SS17, S.M.K USJ 12, S.M. Sri Cahaya etc.

Anyway, here's some random pictures from today's event.

Joe-Anna♥

On Tuesday, the 14th of April, the upper secondary had a field trip to the MPO Hall, KLCC Skybridge and also to the Galeria Sri Perdana.

I'm way to lazy to blog much so please bare with me.

Pictures are not in order.

Joanne
17
Loving every single moment of her life :D